As many of you have read, Canine Commuter sustained a tough loss on Easter weekend, with the sudden onset of what is believed to be Evan’s Syndrome in Pidgey. Personally, I was devastated that there wasn’t anything we could do to stop the progression of this autoimmune response, and had to euthanize her in what seemed the blink of an eye. I still hear her in the house – my memory will play tricks on me - sudden losses can be much more difficult to navigate because there is no time to prepare.
So now, as we adjust to the suddenly empty spot on the sofa, what do we do? Maggie and Spencer have taken to bouncing all over the house, what seems to be happiness, but I think they understand the loss and are trying to lighten my spirit. I pay lots of attention to them and we do have joy as a family during those moments. We play and Maggie and Spencer grab the big floppy toys and shake them, very much like Pidgey did. Dogs are very much like people, and they unknowingly adopt the habits of those that surround them. Maggie has taken to being the first to wake me in the morning by licking the tip of my nose. Maggie enjoys her belly rubs and Spencer simply loves to give lingering hugs again, without Pidgey’s telltale headbutt to knock him out of the way. I guess you could say, life has returned to where we were four years ago. Things are simple, peaceful and very, very quiet. It’s amazing how much energy one little dog can add to a house. There is a noticeable void.
Friends and family have been supportive, but it simply takes time to recover from any loss. I give myself time to grieve, but there is also peace that I did the best I could for her. She had a wonderful, loving home during her time here, and I recognize that too. So how do you heal after a loss?
1. Give yourself time. "Time heals all wounds" Well, the wounds may not fully heal…but they don’t sting quite as much.
2. Find a way to forgive any doubts you have and let go of the "what if’s". "What if’s" are dangerous thoughts that can make recovering from a loss unmanageable and fill us with unecessary and unwarranted guilt.
3. Don’t focus on the events leading to the loss, focus on the joy that your pet gave you during their time in your life. Focus on happy times, fun memories and the wonderful pictures that remind us of why we have pets in the first place. They add to the quality of our lives, make us laugh and give us unconditional love.
4. And most of all, you need to let them go. Not only physically, which is difficult enough, but spiritually as well. Acknowledge their life in some meaningful way – donation to a charity, planting a tree in their memory or even volunteering with a local rescue group. Recognize the joy they gave you, thank them for the unconditional love and the happiness they brought to your life, pay it forward and wish them well on their journey. I didn’t say it was easy….but it’s a very healthy and freeing thing to do.
So, now we begin to dream of the next wonderful dog that will join our happy, furry family and add their own special magic to our lives.
Cheers! (and Cheers to Pidgey for a life well lived!)
Lindsey and the Canine Commuter Team.